He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
