He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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