Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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