Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Randomize