i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
even my farts smell like vagina
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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