he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I'm both gender and math confused
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