margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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