She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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