How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
