i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize