Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
her vagine was all disorganized.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
