I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
She even gives head with a lisp.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
