Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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