I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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