a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I forgot how hot balto sounded
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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