Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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