so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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