ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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