My girlfriend figured out who you are.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
