Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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