Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I cut my penus on the lid.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
