He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize
