1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
