I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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