I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
