Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Do vagina's smell?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
