you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
