you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
