All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
