Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
