At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
