we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
So. Much. Porn.
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