Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
false alarm. still invincible.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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