I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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