can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize