Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
