Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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