he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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