this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
