I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
you win again, gameday.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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