He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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