4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
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