When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
