We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
