dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
