what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
