yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
