I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
