I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
zippers are such a cool invention
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
