it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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