Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
