Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
