I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
try to milk me bitch
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
