Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Randomize
