i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
