I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I understand Curling. That high.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Randomize
